Чтение онлайн

"Mom! I'll have a helicopter pick you up! (у меня будет вертолет, чтобы подобрать тебя) You'll go straight (ты отправишься прямо) from the plane to my front lawn! (с самолета на мою переднюю лужайку = перед домом)"

"I don't know… (не знаю) I'd still need a hotel room (мне все равно будет нужен номер в гостинице). And hotels are so expensive… (так дороги) and they're not like they used to be… (не такие, как были раньше)"

"Ma! You'll stay at the White House! (ты остановишься в Белом Доме)"

"Well…" She thinks. "I guess (я думаю; to guess — угадать, отгадать; /амер./ считать, предполагать), O.K." she sighs (вздыхает), "I'll come… for you (я приеду… ради тебя)."

That afternoon (в тот же день /после полудня/; noon — полдень), she's talking on the phone (она говорит по телефону) with one of her friends (с одной из своих подруг). "What's new? (что нового)" The friend asks.

"I'm visiting my son for Chanukah (я поеду в гости к сыну на Хануку)."

"The doctor?"

"No… the other one (нет, к другому)."

The first Jewish President calls his mother in Queens and invites her for Chanukah.

"I'd like to," she says, "but it's so much trouble… First, I have to get a cab to the airport, and I hate waiting on Queens Boulevard…"

"Mom! I'm President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One!"

"Yes, but when we land I'll still have to carry my luggage through the airport… An try to find a cab… And you know what holiday crowds are like…"

"Mom! I'll have a helicopter pick you up! You'll go straight from the plane to my front lawn!"

"I don't know… I'd still need a hotel room. And hotels are so expensive… and they're not like they used to be…"

"Ma! You'll stay at the White House!"

"Well…" She thinks. "I guess. O.K." she sighs, "I'll come… for you."

That afternoon, she's talking on the phone with one of her friends. "What's new?" The friend asks.

"I'm visiting my son for Chanukah."

"The doctor?"

"No… the other one."

I'd like to, but it's so much trouble.

And hotels are not like they used to be…

What's new?

Morris comes home to find his wife (приходит домом и застает: «чтобы найти» свою жену), Sadie, crying (плачущей). "I found out (узнала; /to find-found-found — найти/) from Mrs. Goldberg that you've been having an affair (что у тебя связь) with that chippy secretary (с той жалкой секретаршей; chippy — зазубренный /о ноже/, обломанный /о посуде/; /амер. жарг./ потаскушка) in your office.

Why would you do that to me? (почему ты так поступил со мной)

Haven't I always been the good wife? (разве я не была всегда хорошей женой) I've cooked for you (готовила для тебя), raised your children (растила твоих детей), and I've always been by your side (и всегда была рядом с тобой) for thirty-five years (в течение 35 лет). What haven't I done to make you happy? (чем ты недоволен: «что я не сделала, чтобы сделать тебя счастливым»)"

Embarrassed (смущенный), Morris confesses (признается), "It's true (это правда), Sadie, you've been the best wife a man could hope for (ты была лучшей женой, на которую мужчина мог бы надеяться). You make me happy in all ways (во всем: «всеми путями = способами») but one (кроме одного). You don't moan (не стонешь) when we have sex!"

"If I moaned when we had sex, you'd stop running around?! (перестал бы ходить на сторону: «бегать вокруг») All right (хорошо, ладно), come to the bedroom (пройди в спальню) so I can show you (чтобы я могла показать тебе) that I, too, can moan during sex! (что я тоже умею: «могу» стонать во время секса)"

So they retire (итак, они удаляются) to the bedroom, get undressed (раздеваются), and climb between the sheets (забираются в постель: «между простынями»).

As they begin to kiss (когда они начинают целоваться), Sadie asks (спрашивает), "Now, Morris, should I moan now? (ну, сейчас мне стонать: «должна я стонать сейчас»)"

"No, not yet (нет еще)."

Morris begins fondling (ласкать) Sadie.

"What about now? (а сейчас: «как насчет сейчас») Should I moan now?"

"No, I'll tell you when (я скажу тебе, когда)."

They begin to make love… (они начинают заниматься любовью)

"Is it time for me to moan (/уже/ время для меня стонать), Morris?"

"Wait (подожди), I'll tell you when."

Moments later (несколько мгновений спустя), in the heat of passion (в пылу страсти), seconds before reaching climax (за несколько секунд до достижения оргазма; to reach — достигать), Morris yells (орет), "Now, Sadie, moan! MOAN!"

"OY! You wouldn't believe! (ты не поверишь) what a day I had (ну и денек у меня был сегодня: «какой я имела денек»; to moan — стонать; жаловаться)"

Morris comes home to find his wife, Sadie, crying. "I found out from Mrs. Goldberg that you've been having an affair with that chippy secretary in your office.

Why would you do that to me?

Haven't I always been the good wife? I've cooked for you, raised your children, and I've always been by your side for thirty-five years. What haven't I done to make you happy?"

Embarrassed, Morris confesses, "It's true, Sadie, you've been the best wife a man could hope for.

You make me happy in all ways but one. You don't moan when we have sex!"

"If I moaned when we had sex, you'd stop running around?! All right, come to the bedroom so I can show you that I, too, can moan during sex!"

So they retire to the bedroom, get undressed, and climb between the sheets.

As they begin to kiss, Sadie asks, "Now, Morris, should I moan now?"

"No, not yet."