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She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she cried, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says,

'Do Not Disturb'!"

Do Not Disturb!

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work (молодой человек, нанятый супермаркетом, явился для своего первого дня работы; to report — доложить, рапортовать; явиться, предстать). The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile (менеджер встретил его теплым рукопожатием и улыбкой), gave him a broom (дал ему метлу) and said (и сказал), "Your first job will be to sweep out the store (твое первое задание будет подмести в магазине)."

"But I'm a college graduate (но я выпускник колледжа)," the young man replied indignantly (ответил возмущенно).

"Oh, I'm sorry (сожалею). I didn't know that (я этого не знал)," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom (давай-ка мне сюда метлу) - I'll show you how (я покажу тебе, как)."

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."

"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom — I'll show you how."

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that.

I'll show you how.

Little Susan was mother's helper (крошка Сьюзан была маминой помощницей). She helped to set the table (она помогала накрывать на стол) when company was due for dinner (должны были обедать). Presently everything was on (вскоре все было на /столе/), the guest came in (вошел гость), and everyone sat down (и все сели /to sit-sat-sat/). Then mother noticed (заметила) something was missing (чего-то недостает).

"Susan," she said (сказала), "You didn't put a knife and fork (ты не положила нож и вилку) at Mr. Smith's place (на место мистера Смита)."

"I thought he wouldn't need them (я подумала, они не будут ему нужны)," explained (объяснила) Susan. "Daddy (папа) says he always eats like a horse! (он всегда ест, как лошадь)"

Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped to set the table when company was due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then mother noticed something was missing.

"Susan," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place."

"I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susan. "Daddy says he always eats like a horse!"

Something is missing.

A blonde was walking along a river (блондинка шла вдоль реки) when she noticed (когда она заметила) another (другую) blonde on the opposite bank (на противоположном берегу).

She yells (она кричит), " How do I get to the other side of the river? (как мне попасть на другую сторону реки)"

The second (вторая) blonde replies (отвечает), "You are on the other side… (ты на другой стороне)"

A blonde was walking along a river when she noticed another blonde on the opposite bank.

She yells, "How do I get to the other side of the river?"

The second blonde replies, "You are on the other side…"

How do I get to the other side of the river?

Two women were in a hair salon (две женщины были в парикмахерской) talking about their home lives (разговаривая о своих домашних "жизнях") when the subject of flighty husbands came up (когда возникла тема ветреных мужей).

"It's unbelievable (это невероятно)," one woman said. "I can never figure out where he goes at night (я никогда не могу разгадать, куда он ходит ночью, вечером)."

"I know exactly what you mean (я в точности знаю, что ты имеешь в виду)," said the other woman. "One second he's in the house (в одно мгновенье он дома), and the next he's gone without a trace (а в следующее он исчез без следа)."

"Well," says a woman eavesdropping nearby (подслушивающая рядом). "I always know where my husband is (я всегда знаю, где мой муж)."

"How do you manage that? (как вам это удается)" the other two women ask (спрашивают).

"Easy (легко)," she replies (отвечает). "I'm a widow (я вдова)."

Two women were in a hair salon talking about their home lives when the subject of flighty husbands came up.

"It's unbelievable," one woman said. "I can never figure out where he goes at night."

"I know exactly what you mean," said the other woman. "One second he's in the house, and the next he's gone without a trace."

"Well," says a woman eavesdropping nearby. "I always know where my husband is."

"How do you manage that?" the other two women ask.

"Easy," she replies. "I'm a widow."

It's unbelievable!

I know exactly what you mean.

How do you manage that?

When I was a youngster (когда я был юнцом)," complained the frustrated father (жаловался расстроенный отец), "I was disciplined (я был наказываем; disciplin ['dspln]) by being sent to my room without supper ("отсыланием", тем, что меня отсылали в мою комнату без ужина /to send-sent-sent/). But my son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player (но у моего сына есть его собственный цветной телевизор, телефон, компьютер, и СD плеер)."

"So what do you do? (и что же ты делаешь)" asked his friend (спросил его друг).

"I send him to MY room! (я посылаю его в мою комнату)"

When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But my son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."

"So what do you do?" asked his friend.

"I send him to MY room!"

So what do you do?