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Finally, in desperation, the people decided to ask the rabbi what to do. After all, he was very wise. They told him the story. "Rabbi, we've tried all day to mate our cow. When the bull moves in from the right the cow moves left, and when the bull moves in from the left the cow moves to the right. What do we do?"

The rabbi thought a moment and said, "So, why did you buy this cow from Minsk?"

"Rabbi," they said, "you are so wise. We never said we bought the cow from Minsk. How did you know that?"

The rabbi said, "My wife is from Minsk."

What do we do?

How did you know that?

The upset and concerned housewife Rivkah (расстроенная и озабоченная домохозяйка Ривка; to upset — опрокидывать; расстраивать) sprang to the telephone (подскочила к телефону /to spring-sprang-sprung — прыгать/) when it rang (когда тот позвонил /to ring-rang-rung/) and listened with relief (и слушала с облегчением) to the kindly voice (добрый голос).

"Darling, How are you? This is Mummy (дорогая, как ты, это мамочка)."

"Oh Mummy," she said, "I'm having a bad day (у меня плохой день)."

Breaking into bitter tears (разрыдавшись: «разразившись горькими слезами» /to break-broke-broken — ломать/), she continued (она продолжала), "The baby won't eat (ребенок не хочет есть) and the washing machine broke down (и стиральная машина сломалась). I haven't had a chance to go shopping (я не имела возможности сходить за покупками) and besides (и вдобавок), I've just sprained my ankle (я только что растянула лодыжку) and I have to hobble around (и должна хромать). On top of that (в довершение всего; top — вершина, верхушка), the house is a mess (дома бардак, беспорядок) and I'm supposed to have the Goldbergs and the Rosens for dinner tonight (мне нужно принять: «предполагается, что я приму» Голдбергов и Розенов на ужин сегодня вечером; to suppose — предполагать)."

The voice on the other end said in sympathy (голос на другом конце сказал сочувственно), "Darling, let Mummy handle it (дорогая, позволь маме с этим разобраться; to handle — брать руками; управлять, регулировать)."

She continued, "Sit down, relax, and close your eyes (сядь, расслабься и закрой глаза). I'll be over in half an hour (я буду через полчаса). I'll do your shopping (я схожу /за тебя, для тебя/ в магазин), clean up the house (приберусь в доме; clean — чистый; to clean up — вычистить, убраться), and cook your dinner for you (и приготовлю ужин для тебя, вместо тебя). I'll feed the baby (я накормлю ребенка) and I'll call an engineer I know (и позвоню мастеру, которого я знаю) who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine in 30 minutes (который будет в твоем доме, чтобы починить стиральную машину, через 30 минут).

Now stop crying (а сейчас перестань плакать). I'll do everything (я все сделаю). In fact (действительно, на самом деле), I'll even call your husband David at the office (я даже позвоню твоему мужу Дэвиду в офис) and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once (я скажу ему, что он должен прийти и помочь сейчас же; once - однажды; же, — ка /усилит. частица/)."

"David?" said Rivkah. "Who's David? (кто это Дэвид)"

"Why, David 's your husband! (как Дэвид твой муж) … Is this (это) 0208 123 3749?"

"No, this is 0208 123 3747."

"Oh, I'm sorry (о, извините). I guess I have the wrong number (видимо, я набрала не тот номер)."

There was a short pause (была короткая пауза), then Rivkah said, "Does this mean you're not coming over? (так значит, вы не приедете: «значит ли это, что вы не приедете /сюда/»)"

The upset and concerned housewife Rivkah sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice.

"Darling, How are you? This is Mummy."

"Oh Mummy," she said "I'm having a bad day."

Breaking into bitter tears, she continued, "The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have the Goldbergs and the Rosens for dinner tonight."

The voice on the other end said in sympathy, "Darling, let Mummy handle it."

She continued, "Sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call an engineer I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine in 30 minutes.

Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call your husband David at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once."

"David?" said Rivkah. "Who's David?"

"Why, David 's your husband!… Is this 0208 123 3749?"

"No, this is 0208 123 3747."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number."

There was a short pause, then Rivkah said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"

Darling, How are you?

Let me handle it.

Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number.

Does this mean you're not coming over?

A Jewish grandmother giving directions to her grown grandson (еврейская бабушка дает указания своему взрослому внуку) who is coming to visit with his wife (который собирается навестить ее со своей женой),

"You come to the front door (ты подходишь к входной двери) of the Golders Green block of flats (многоквартирного дома). I am in flat (я в квартире) number 32. There is a big panel at the front door (на входной: «передней» двери большая панель, список, указатель /жильцов, квартир/; panel ['paenl]). With your elbow (твоим локтем), push button (нажми кнопку) 32. I will buzz you in (я тебя впущу /по домофону/; to buzz — жужжать, гудеть; звонить по телефону). Come inside (внутрь), the elevator is on the right (лифт справа). Get in (зайди), and with your elbow hit (нажми: «ударь») 14. When you get out (когда ты выйдешь), I am on the left (я слева). With your elbow, hit my doorbell (дверной звонок; bell — колокольчик)."

"Grandma, that sounds easy (звучит понятно: «легко»), but why (почему) am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"

"You're coming empty handed? (ты приезжаешь = собираешься приехать с пустыми руками)"

A Jewish grandmother giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife,

"You come to the front door of the Golders Green block of flats. I am in flat number 32. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 32. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out, I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."