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Ivan in general, seeing the look in the commander's eyes, became wildly nervous and was cursing himself for all he was worth.

"Why did I sign up for all this, what a moron I am, how could I go for all this, let them do what they want, why me – that" – he was no longer happy that he had been tempted by the whole situation, although he certainly liked everything, even very much, even very, very much. But now it didn't seem to him that "everything was under control" at all. He realized that now Nastya could say anything and most likely she would be believed. Although in fact it was only her word against theirs, but nevertheless the situation looked suspicious.

Kirill came up to him – "Stop fidgeting, she's a normal girl, everything will be fine"

Oleg's heart was scratching, he realized that he could not fix anything and only thought about whether he would see her again. Maybe he wouldn't … Maybe he wouldn't come back … And even if he did, would she want to see him after all they'd done? Probably not. And that made it even worse.

Nastya decided not to postpone her dream for later, since she had somewhere to go anyway, so she went to Peter!

It was scary, she had basically never lived anywhere before, except for small trips to Kiev to see her mom. Or rather not quite so – until her dad died, they lived in Mariupol. Then, when mom remarried, the idea came to buy a spacious good house in the countryside, there were some business ideas, which basically worked out, but it turned out that mom's husband, who was the initiator of all this, was not really impressed by life in the countryside. And Nastya had a choice – to go together with them to the city, specifically to Kiev, but for now to a rented apartment, or to stay alone in a spacious house. And she chose to stay alone – she wanted to live alone, freely, without crowding, to be with herself. And plus there was an area, if anything, to which she could invite an interested man. Yes, it could not be said that the house belonged to her, but they gave it completely at her disposal. So that's how it came to be that she was alone here. And she liked it for a long time on the whole, though of course she began to think of moving to … Peter. Yes, she wanted to go to Peter, but she didn't understand what she would do there and what money to live on. And then the military conflict started …

Nastya wrote to her mom that she was going to Peter, because she couldn't go to Kiev.

By the way, as you could probably guess, they were taking her phone away from her to monitor her calls and correspondence, just in case.

The house, a large, good and spacious of course to leave was a pity and terrible, but she could not stay – and so already tightened …

Nastya drove and of course remembered everything that had happened. Images kaleidoscoped in her memory. That's how it started, how Kirill came up behind her after a shower … Could it have been any different? She doesn't know, she doesn't know what would have happened if she had started to desperately pull away and resist.

But then she was just scared. She had three strong young armed men in her house. Clearly, they had put their weapons away when they undressed, but that didn't stop them from using them at any time.

And in general – do you realize that against three men globally she could not do anything? Yeah, sure, maybe a very active resistance would have stopped them. Maybe, uh.

What did they think? Did they think that she wanted it that way, but was breaking herself for decency's sake? No, they didn't. Because her whole demeanor said she was scared, and not at all that she was eager to try something new.

Did they think otherwise, that they had committed a crime called rape? They didn't think so either. There was no brutality, no cruelty, they didn't tie her up. But does that justify what happened? No, actually, of course not, it doesn't.

There is such a phrase as "It just happened" – it doesn't mean anything at all, because how can it? But it is convenient to say it when there are no excuses and explanations.

The only explanation is that they just wanted it so badly. In normal life, of course, this could not have happened. Yes, that's right, they took advantage of the situation and their position.

But how it was … delightful. and unforgettable.

And the thought of Nastya made both Kirill and Oleg smile. Ivan was cooler in this respect and his thoughts were occupied with something else. However, he by no means thought that she was like that herself. He was just very nervous about the 'what ifs'.

Such a seemingly almost pornographic experience was perceived in a kind of pleasant haze, with a hint of even romanticism.

Weird? Yes, weird. But sometimes we don't understand why we perceive and feel that way.

They made a lot of explanations and excuses for themselves, but they still came to the conclusion that they were just bastards who had taken advantage of the situation.

Why did they go for such a format as a threesome? Well, as you remember, the first time it sort of "just happened", and then it was as if – why not? Especially always one of them was more "free" at any given moment and could calm Nastya, whisper something soothing in her ear, stroke, and sometimes and yes … hold her. So she wouldn't leave, wouldn't dodge. Yeah, bastards, what can I say?

Kirill realized it was all his fault. If he hadn't frightened her then, almost smothering her with his hand … And then with that pillow – he's a bastard, of course. He remembered her frightened eyes. And yet, how it had been. Well, you don't forget things like that. Would he have acted the same way? Well, it was worth it, it was worth it.

And how did Nastya herself characterize all this for herself? Coercion, yes. Rape – probably not. I mean, she really didn't put up much of a fight. Yeah, she said no. But she didn't actively resist.

Did she feel a wild anger, a desire for revenge? No. Strangely enough, no. She was worried about the whole thing, and even thought that some of it was her fault – as women usually thought. Even though it wasn't her fault. You'd be scared too if you had three armed men in your house.

Did she forgive it all? I guess you can't say that either. After all, they took advantage of her.

Did it warm her that she had been given money? First of all, she didn't know if she could convert it into money, even though they had explained to her how. And secondly, no, it did not, although she needed the money very much.

Strangely enough, she made no attempt to contact the man who visited her on a visit, deleted his number and forgot to think about him.

And you know why? Because despite the wildness of the whole situation, she felt these days how much they wanted her, how much they thought of her, how willing they were to take care of her in some little things like coffee, even lunches, even cleaning. And overall – it was a weird feeling when she didn't feel alone. Yes, it's wild. But it's true.

You know, when a woman is very much desired and it is frank, it raises some inner confidence very much. It's purely feminine. Yes, it wasn't exactly the same situation, but still.