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– Whoo-hoo! – I also shouted and laughed.

Wow: I'm in Gdansk. At a rock concert! With Martin!

It was probably the best idea of my life to come here! To try something I've never done before. I've never been to a concert and screamed my head off. But tonight I loved being like this – a fan. I liked the atmosphere, the energy of the crowd, I liked being free of my habits.

– Here they come! – There was a loud, hysterical female scream, and the noise got even higher.

Four men and one woman came on the stage. The men were dressed in dark t-shirts and jeans, looking nothing at all like classic rockers. The woman, as I guessed – the frontwoman, had an interestingly attractive appearance: expressive facial features, long straight black hair. Blue eye shadow and dark maroon lipstick. She was wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. That was it.

"And they're the ones Martin is so crazy about?" – I thought mockingly, but continued to clap like a monkey.

– Good evening!" said the frontwoman, approaching the microphone, and the crowd of fans immediately responded with a new wave of noise and applause. – We haven't performed together for a long time, but tonight is the first of our three concerts in our native Poland. And it all started when we met by chance at one of the rock festivals and decided to please our fans…

– Thank God! – There was a loud male shout, which made both the crowd and the musicians laugh.

– And tonight we hope you'll have a great night with us! Feel free to sing along! – said the frontwoman with a laugh. – Let's get started!

The crowd squealed with joy.

– Shit, I like it already! – I said to Martin.

– It's just the beginning, sis! – he said to me.

The noise was so loud that the frontwoman had to raise her hand to silence the fans. And when there was relative silence, she sang.

Yes, it was a momentary thought.

But it was a lie

I saw it, just me.

Then you were gone

And I'm left with this moment

And I drink wine like that lie.

I drink the wine and feel her

(free translation from Polish by Author)

Her beautiful melodic voice sounded lonely. Filled the room. Our hearts. The world. And suddenly there was a roar of guitars.

When you look at me

It's poison, it's just poison

Like the sin that

I'm so close to

For a moment that can't be born

A moment that can't be

nor should be.

In a single glance I see us

When we love

images and thoughts change.

The loneliness leaves me

And I'm so sure of myself

I think you're just a dream

cause this dream is so hot

But, God, I can see that it's

Just millions of pieces of myself

(free translation from Polish by Author)

– What's the name of this song? – I asked Martin.

– Taboo.

No. It can't be.

I was suddenly bitter at the realisation that this song was about me. Expressing what I've been feeling for so many years. It denounced me, knew my secret.

Now I wasn't happy at all. I was creepy.

I had to get away.

No! Run away!

Now.

I couldn't bear the truth any longer.

– Martin! – I grabbed my brother's elbow. He looked at me. – I'm leaving!

– Are you laughing? – he grinned. – The concert has just started!

– I'm not forcing you to come with me! I just don't like it here! I'll find a nightclub! – I said insistently, raising my voice as the song came to an end, the music stopped, and the room erupted in applause, shouts, and whistles.

– All right! I'll call you later!

I hastily kissed my brother on the cheek and with difficulty headed for the exit: people were standing so tightly together that I thought I would reach the exit without clothes.

– Baby, where are you going? – I suddenly heard Grue's voice. I had already reached the stairs.

– Smoke! – I briefly threw her and hurried out into the street.

In my head, your voice

Tantalising me with no stop

Endlessly…

(free translation from Polish by Author)

– Enough! Enough! – I whispered irritably and covered my ears with my palms so I wouldn't hear the words hitting me in the back.

– Pretty girl! Are you a little drunk? – came from beside me. A man's voice.

I dropped my hands and cast a disgruntled glance at the tall guy who had suddenly appeared in front of me, out of nowhere.

– What's it to you? – I muttered. My mood was like a tornado, just waiting to tear down, to destroy everything around me.

– I have a car nearby. Let me give you a lift," the guy winked at me.

– Thanks, but I'm full! – I threw him aside, and he crashed into the wall of the house where he'd dared to stop me. I was immediately overtaken by the smell of blood. Unpalatable, alcohol-soaked, shitty blood.

I walked quickly away. It was a good thing the poor mortal could barely see my face-I was standing with my back to the only glowing streetlight on this filthy, dark street.

– Fuck! – I heard behind me. Then uncertain footsteps. – Holy shit!

– Motherfucker! – I muttered.

– No, you can't be left alone!

– Martin! – I flinched in surprise and stood up.

My brother was standing next to me.

– Why aren't you at the concert? – I asked unhappily.

– I heard that some cretin had annoyed my little sister. – He turned back round.

– As you can see, I did fine without your interference! – Even the thought that Martin thinks I'm weak, on par with mortal women, thinks I can't defend myself, offended me. To the depths of my soul. If I still had one.

– I've noticed. Shit, what's wrong with your mood? – Martin put his arm round my shoulders. – Come on. I'll put you in a taxi and take you to the club.

– I didn't feel like it. – This time I was telling the truth: the only thing I wanted was to lock myself in my room and lie in bed, under the duvet. All night. All day. – No need to sacrifice your concert. You go. I'll get to the hotel just fine.

– So you're going to a hotel?

– Yeah.

We were walking down the street. My arms were crossed on my chest.