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The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes, then it chuckled.

'What fun!' said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

'What is the fun?' said Alice.

'She,' said the Gryphon. 'It's a fake, you know, they never execute anybody. Come on!'

'Everybody says “come on!” here,' thought Alice, as she went slowly after the Gryphon.

Soon they saw the Mock Turtle. It was sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and sighing.

'What is his sorrow?' Alice asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, 'It's a fake, you know, it has no sorrow. Come on!'

So they went up to the Mock Turtle. It looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

'This is a young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants to know your history.'

'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: 'sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word. I'll tell a story.'

So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice waited patiently.

'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was a real Turtle.'

Next was a very long silence. The Mock Turtle was only sobbing. Alice was going to get up and say, 'Thank you for your interesting story,' but she sat still and said nothing.

'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, 'we went to school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle-we called him Tortoise…'

'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.

'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock Turtle angrily, 'and really you are very silly!'

'Yes, don't ask such simple questions,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice. At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, 'Go on, old fellow!'

And the Mock Turtle went on in these words:

'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you don't believe it…'

'Why? I didn't say that!' interrupted Alice.

'You did,' said the Mock Turtle.

'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon.

The Mock Turtle went on.

'We had the best educations-in fact, we went to school every day…'

'So what?' asked Alice; 'I go to school everyday, too. Why are you so proud?'

'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.'

'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.

'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.

'Ah! then your school isn't a really good school,' said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief. We had washing – extra.'

'What for?' asked Alice; 'You were living at the bottom of the sea.'

'Yes, I was,' said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. 'I only took the regular course.'

'What was that?' inquired Alice.

'Reeling and Writhing[10]. Different branches of Arithmetic,' the Mock Turtle replied; 'Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision[11].'

'I never heard of “Uglification,”' Alice said. 'What is it?'

The Gryphon was surprised.

'What! Never heard of that!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is, I suppose?'

'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it means “to make something prettier.”'

'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to uglify[12] is, you are just foolish.'

Alice turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else did you learn?'

'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, 'Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography[13]: then Drawling, Stretching[14], and Fainting in Coils[15].'

'What was that like?' said Alice.

'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm too old for that. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'

'I had no time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics master, though. He was an old crab[16], he was.'

'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh, 'he taught Laughing and Grief.'

'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon; and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.

'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice.

'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the next, and so on.'

'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.

'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon remarked, 'because they lessen from day to day.'

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she made her next remark.

'Then the eleventh day was a holiday?'

'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.

'And what about the twelfth day?' Alice asked eagerly.

'Enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone: 'tell her something about the games now.'

Chapter X

The Lobster Quadrille

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and looked at Alice, and tried to speak. Gryphon began to shake it and punch it in the back. At last the Mock Turtle, with tears that were running down his cheeks, went on again:

'You did not live much under the sea…'

('I did not,' said Alice)

'and perhaps you did not see a lobster…'

(Alice began to say 'I once tasted…' but hastily said 'No, never')

'so you probably do not know what a nice dance a Lobster Quadrille is!'

'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?'

'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the sea-shore…'

'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on; then you advance twice…'

'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.

'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to partners…'

'…change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the Gryphon.