Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы
Шрифт:
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.
«Can I borrow the dog?»
«Get in line.»
Words and Expressions:
widow вдова
funeral похороны
procession процессия
nearby ближайший
cemetery кладбище
hearse катафалк
behind позади, сзади
solitary одинокая
mean дурной, злобный, угрожающий, низкий
leash собачий поводок
single один; единичный; одинокий
curiosity любопытство
respectfully уважительно
lossу трата, потеря
to disturb беспокоить
to inquire интересоваться, осведомляться
poignant острый, волнующий
thoughtful вдумчивый, полный размышлений
silence молчание, тишина
to borrow взять взаймы
line очередь
to walk a dog прогуливать собаку
mean-looking выглядящий злобно и угрожающе
single file в одну колонну
to stand sth выдерживать что-л., противостоять чему-л., справляться с чем-л.
to turn on sb переключиться на кого-л.
to get in line встать в очередь
Section 37
Mommy, how old are you?
Eight-year-old little Mary and her mother are walking through the mall together one day. «Mommy,» says the little Mary, «how old are you?»
«Darling, you should never ask a woman what her age is.»
«Why not?» demands the child.
«Well, that is something you will understand one day when you're grown-up.»
«Mommy,» asks Mary again, «how much do you weigh?»
«Never mind,» answers the mother.
«Why can't you tell me?»
«Because grown-ups never talk about how much they weigh. This is something you will learn and understand someday.»
«Mommy,» insists the child, «can you tell me why you and Daddy got divorced?»
«Darling,» responds the mother in exasperation, «that's something still very painful for Mommy, and I really just can't talk about it now.»
A few days later, little Mary recounts this conversation to a friend at school. The friend explains how to overcome these problems.
«All you have to do is get your mother's driver's license. It has all the information about any grown-up you want on it. You just read it like a report card and it'll give you anything you need.»
So little Mary does as her friend recommended. That night she sneaks into her mother's room while her mom was cooking dinner. She rummages through her purse and finds the driver's license. After examining it carefully she walks up to her mother and says, «I know how old you are! You are 35!» The mother is very surprised. «And, I know how much you weigh. You weigh 136 pounds, right?» The mother is shocked. «And, I know why you and Daddy got a divorce.»
The mother, dumbfounded asked, «Why?»
«It's because you got an F in sex.»
Words and Expressions:
mall торговый центр
Mommy ласк. мама
darling дорогой
age возраст
to demand спрашивать
grown-up взрослый
to weigh весить
someday как-нибудь; на днях
to insist настаивать
exasperation раздражение
painful болезненный
to recount вспоминать
conversation разговор
to overcome преодолевать
license лицензия
to recommend советовать, рекомендовать
to sneak подкрадываться, пробираться
to rummage шарить, рыться
purse кошелек, бумажник
to examine исследовать, осматривать
carefully внимательно, тщательно
to shock шокировать
F сокр.female обозначение пола в документах
F буквенный индекс низшей оценки за успеваемость в американских школах
sex пол; секс
Never mind! Забудь! Не обращай внимания!
driver's license водительские права
report card «личное дело», в школьной практике – табель, дневник
dumbfounded ошарашенный
Section 38
Jelly beans
There once was a little blonde girl who wore a dress to school every day and really loved jelly beans more than anything. The boys at her school decided to take full advantage of this and one day approached her and offered to give her a bag filled with 50 jelly beans if she would climb the schoolyard flagpole. She did and came back down so the boys gave her the jelly beans.
That day she came running home and yelled to her mom, «Mommy! Mommy! Today the boys at school gave me 50 jelly beans to climb the flagpole at school!»
The mother shook her head and replied, «Oh no! They just did that so they could see up your dress and see your panties! I don't want you to ever do this again!»
So the next day the boys offered her 100 jelly beans to climb the flagpole. She did, they gave her the jelly beans and she ran home again and said to her mother, «Mommy! Look! Today they gave me 100 jelly beans for climbing the flagpole!»