ЖАНРЫ

Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы

Миловидов Виктор Александрович

Шрифт:

pain боль

hubby сленг муженек

to spot выслеживать

to cavort прыгать, скакать

chick сленг девушка, девица

to сор сленг взять или украсть что-л.

a feel сленг прикосновение (обычно – к лицу противоположного пола)

to sidle подходить, ходить бочком

seductive соблазнительная

babe сленг крошка

to devote посвящать

"action" зд. дельце

to whisper шептать

proposition предложение

to unmask снять маску

notorious пользующийся дурной славой, заслуживающий осуждения

behavior поведение

den притон, вертеп; зд. комната для игры

poker покер

to loan одолжить

no need for sth нет нужды в чем-л.

to have some kicks сленг получить удовольствие, кайф

to cop a feel сленг прижить, украдкой прикоснуться

high and dry сленг брошенный, оставленный

so off they went и они отправились прочь

to have a little bang сленг слегка поразвлечься

sure had one helluva time = surely had a hell of a time наверняка чертовски хорошо провел время

Section 55

Pat the irishman

There once was an Irishman named Pat, who was born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marching in the St. Patrick's Day parade.

Pat went to heaven and saw St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, «Who are you?» and Pat replied, «My name is Pat, I'm an Irishman, born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marchin' in the St. Patrick's Day parade.»

St. Peter checked up in his book and saw all this information was true. So he said to Pat, «Yes, this is all true, so here is a little green cloud for you to drive around heaven in and here is a harp that, when you push this button here, will play „When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.“ You've earned it, Pat. Have a good time in heaven.»

Pat jumps on his little green cloud, punches the button, and it starts to play «When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.» He heads out into heaven, a smile on his face and a song in his heart.

He's having a wonderful time in heaven, driving his little green cloud around for two whole days. However, on the third day, he's driving down the main expressway in heaven with the harp playing full blast when, all of a sudden, a pink and white two-tone cloud roars past him. And in the back of this cloud is an organ which is playing all sorts of celestial music. Pat has just enough time to see that the person driving the pink and white two-tone cloud has a long nose and a darkish complexion.

Pat makes a U-turn right in the middle of the Heaven Expressway, charges back to the Pearly Gates, jumps off of his little green cloud and stalks up to St. Peter.

He says, "St. Peter, my name is Pat, I'm an Irishman. I was born on St. Patrick's Day, died on St. Patrick's Day, marchin' in the St. Patrick's Day parade. I come up here to heaven and I get this tiny, insignificant little green cloud and this little harp that plays only one song «When Irish Eyes Are Smiling.»

St. Peter, there's a Jew over there. He's got a big, beautiful pink and white two-tone cloud and a huge organ that plays all kinds of celestial music and I, Pat the Irishman, want to know why!"

St. Peter stands up from his desk. He leans over and motions Pat the Irishman to come closer. Then he says, «Pat, shush! He's the boss's son!»

Words and Expressions:

parade парад

heaven рай, небеса

harp арфа

to push нажимать, толкать

button кнопка

to earn зарабатывать

to punch бить кулаком

expressway скоростная дорога, проспект

pink розовый

two-tone двухцветный

to roar реветь, рычать, грохотать

organ муз. орган

celestial небесный

complexion цвет лица

U-turn поворот на 180 градусов

to charge back разг. рвануть назад

to stalk up подходить с гордым видом

tiny маленький

insignificant незначительный

huge огромный

to head out into двигаться к чему-л.

to play full blast сленг играть во всю мочь

Shush! Тихо!

Section 56

St. patrick's day engagement

An Irishman, by the name of O'Mally proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.

The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned it to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.

«It was in honor of St. Patrick's Day,» he smiled. «I gave you a sham rock.»

Words and Expressions:

engagement помолвка

to propose делать предложение

ring кольцо

synthetic синтетический

diamond алмаз

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